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HAPPY NEW YEAR-2020!
NEW BEGINNINGS
MOVING FORWARD IN 2020
December 31st, 2019. For many, they are looking forward to the parties and celebrations of the night.
It's
not only the last day of the year, it's the last day of a decade. Many
of us remember 1999, when we all wondered, what will happen when the
calendar page turns to a new millennium? Will all of the computers in
the world crash? But the transition to four numbers instead of two in
the calendar year went seamlessly and life went on as usual.
Has it
really been 20 years? At that point in my life, there seemed to be so
much promise, but things didn't turn out the way I expected.
Looking back, I now know what was missing. I always had a deep sense of
faith in my heart, but at that point in my life, I was Catholic for an
hour once a week. Life got really busy, as we focused our energies on
securing our future, from a financial standpoint. But we didn't
consider
the stakes for our spiritual future.
In the ebbs and flows of life, I
always adapted to my circumstances. I didn't think that having
different religions mattered that much. But
looking back, I now realize that was because I wasn't practicing my
faith with a firm conviction.
My ex-husband tolerated my trips to
church once a week. Don't get me wrong. This man was brilliant and I
learned a lot from him, but I was empty
inside. I suffered from my depression in silence, because this doctor's
wife couldn't possibly be depressed about anything.
"I like trees and
nature", I once told him when we began dating. "I do too!" he told me.
Then he showed me the pictures on the walls in his home. Ansel Adams.
Great works of art - nature's beauty captured and photographed... in
black and white. A bleak and dismal landscape of what was to come.
Anyway, that was then. Long story short, after much heartache, my life
changed. It seemed like the end of the world at the time, but it turned
out
to be for the best. And with God's blessings and many miracles, I just
celebrated seven years in my home.
I anticipate some major changes once
again in 2020. I'll be moving on. Even though so much is unknown, I'm
also excited because God has greatly
enriched my life these past seven years, as I learned more about my
faith and about myself, and I also learned how to give back. So I know,
with
confidence, that God won't let me fall. In the world's eyes, this may
look like a failure, but every single moment has been leading up to
what
is to come. He takes my failures and uses them for good. All my
weariness and fatigue will not stop me from going where He wants me to
go.
In fact, what I will achieve is a living testimony to His Grace working
through me, fueled by His supernatural strength which we know can do
the impossible.
The Lord told St. Paul, "My grace is sufficient for
you, for power is perfected in weakness." And Paul went on to say,
"Most gladly, therefore,
I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ
may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with
insults,
with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's
sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
On Christmas morning, I was sitting on the sofa and saying my morning
prayers. As I looked out the window, I saw a bird in the tree out
front.
It was larger than most of the birds I usually see. It was a hawk and
it flew on to the bird feeder, right in front of me! Well, I often
ponder
the meanings of what I see. Out of curiosity I Googled "hawk in the
bible". There was one Scripture, Job 39:26 which caught my eye:
"Is it by your understanding that the hawk soars and spreads his wings toward the south?"
In spite of Job losing everything - his wealth, his sons and daughters,
all his livestock, everything in his life, Job remained steadfast in
his
faith. He would not curse God, no matter what happened. But it took its
toll on Job, and in his suffering he lamented that he couldn't
understand
why God would allow a righteous person to suffer. God questioned Job,
and made it clear that He is the Lord of all creation, and that Job
will
never have the capability to understand God's ways.
To me, the hawk is a symbol that the Lord's ways are not my ways, but
God is great, and even if He gives and takes away, He has it all
figured out. Suffering and loss are not a punishment, but we can accept
our sufferings as a reminder that, He's got this! We don't need to rely
on our own inadequate understanding.
And perhaps (and here I go with my
imagination again!) the hawk peering at me through the window was a
messenger... and I need to spread my wings
toward the south...
My primary New Year's Resolution is to give thanks
and praise to the Lord every day. I'm so thankful because He knows
what's in my future,
even if I don't. This time eight years ago, I didn't know of the new
life He had in store for me. I couldn't even imagine! So my other
resolution
is to take one day at a time, but to make each day count so that I'm
moving forward in God's plan for me. I predict that the miracles will
continue. I just need to get out of God's way to make room for the
miracles.
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